Thank you from Bernice

Words cannot express what is in our hearts----The children and I are very grateful for the outpouring of love since John's Home going! From those who came to his Life Celebration, or celebrated watching it on the internet; those who set up, served, or brought food to the Celebration; the outpouring of cards, flowers, and food to our home and the many other thoughtful gestures that we are not even aware of.... Thank you from the depths of our hearts!

As Jerry had said, John was a humble man and would have been embarassed by the "packed house" service-----but for his wife and children, it was a "cloud of witnesses" that testify to the many lives John's life impacted! We have begun to see the alpine tree decals showing up around town... how that blesses us! It not only honors John, but serves as a reminder to keep looking up!

Many ask how we are doing. That is a difficult question to answer! Our hope is increasing indeed!! However, it starts with the basic steps. Some days, I just have to remember to breathe! This was John's busy travel season, so in the blessed "numbing" that God sends at a time like this, to the kids and I, it just feels that he is on a business trip. However, he hasn't been calling home as he had always done..... and as that reality sets in for us in the weeks to come, we covet your prayers! For now, the real adventure begins!

Thank You

The Ellis would like to express their gratitude to all that have come around them during this time. They have appreciated all of the help, company, food, love, support and encouragement that you all have been giving.

If you are unable to attend John's service, but would like to watch it on the internet, it will be streamed live. You can go to www.nbcspokane.org and clink the link to watch the service live. The service will be on Saturday, November 5th, at 10:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time.

ELLIS, John Charles, 44, went home to be with his Lord on October 25, 2011. He passed away at his home in Spokane, Washington, surrounded by family and friends. He did not lose his battle to cancer - he won the battle to live. He was focused on God, and that testimony has been an inspiration to many.

John was born February 28, 1967 in Spokane to James and Roberta Ellis. He lived his entire life in Spokane, graduating from Mead High School and Gonzaga University, and he spent his career as a Professional Engineer with Aerial Engineering. John married Bernice Hoener, and they have three children - Jessica, Nathan, and Laura. John loved the outdoors and enjoyed spending time with his family snow skiing, hiking, kayaking, woodworking, camping, and riding his motorcycle. John was not just a husband - he was Bernice's best friend. He was not just a father - he was an incredible and devoted Dad to the very end, and he had a great laugh. John was an active member of Northview Bible Church, serving faithfully as a deacon for many years.

John is survived by his wife, Bernice, children, Jessica, Nathan, and Laura; parents, James and Roberta Ellis, of Spokane; sister, Karen May of Spokane; and numerous nephews, nieces, and cousins. He was loved by all, and he will be missed by all. A memorial fund for John's children has been established at the Spokane Teachers Credit Union.

The family invites you to celebrate John's life at a memorial service on Saturday, November 5 at 10:30 am at Northview Bible Church at 13521 North Mill Road, Spokane.

John passed away last night at 10:30 surrounded by family and friends. We are thankful he is now resting in the arms of his Heavenly Father. John did not lose his battle to cancer, he won the battle to live! His Celebration of Life service will be at Northview Bible Church on Saturday, November 5th, at 10:30am.

John saved all his strength this past week so that he could watch Nathan race in the Cross Country JV Championships on Saturday.

John's health has been declining rapidly over the past several days. He's lost much of his muscle strength, and he has been content to sleep and stay in bed. Even in these days, it has been wonderful to reconnect with high school and college friends!

The scooter has been a big hit in our home! Within hours of receiving it, John joined me as we welcomed Laura off the bus! This was the first time in months Daddy was able to meet the bus--- and you can see the delight on her face!

This seemingly simple device has allowed John freedom and independence to be outside. The kids have enjoyed "testing" it out and are more than happy to help him run the battery down for his battery life experiments.

We have an Aunt who owns a Prius, so the scooter has the nickname of the "Little Red Prius”. And a neighbor has already challenged him to a race with their golf cart!

The smell of Fall is in the air, school has started and life continues to be lived..... For John, life has become a pattern of routines. For me, however, it is balancing both ends of the spectrum.

For example, one evening our Great Room was filled with laughter and commotion: there were 3 teenagers sitting at our dining room table doing homework (in between the laughter) while I was in the kitchen. I would bounce back and forth between the kids and sitting with John, who was in our bedroom trying to "zone-out" to a movie. He was not feeling (or looking) well. While struggling to breathe, he smiled at the sounds coming from the other room!

One end of the spectrum is keeping up with the kids! Jess is a Senior! Homecoming was last weekend and this week we ordered her cap and gown. Nathan is running for the cross country team and filling his free time creating. He has quite the imagination and his wood working skills are improving! Our Laura is vibrant and full of life, stepping into her new routine with joy! Ballet & AWANA is how she spends two of her nights each week.

The other end of the spectrum is watching John live out his days to the fullest, while cancer puts extreme limits on his body. John is on oxygen all the time now and his discomfort level is increasing, so he is taking more pain medications. It takes most of his energy to breathe. A scooter is being delivered today----and it's a toss up to who is more excited! John or the kids!

Last week we made the decision that we cannot leave him alone anymore. Many have offered to sit with him. I appreciate the offer, but no thank you. I have the rest of my life to be away from him!

We've also set up some new systems. First, there is a red/green sign on our front door. Green means visitors are welcome, and red means it's not a good time for visiting. If you come and the sign is red, please try again another time! Next, when you do come, please take your shoes off at the door and use the purell. These simple steps can go a long way to keep John safe from germs.

Thank you to everyone for the many ways you are walking alongside of us during this time!

It's been a beautiful Fall, and the changing of the colors has begun. Once again I am reminded of God's "quilt" of love that our family is wrapped up in! We are so grateful for His peace and the hope of heaven! We are bathed in His love! Thank you to those who have been the "hands and feet" of Jesus to us!!

Thank you for your cards and notes of encouragement! They are so appreciated! They line the window sills of our Great Room, wrapping us in your love.

Nathan and Laura returned from Stehekin with wonderful stories and pictures of their time spent there. Nathan enjoyed the high country & came back with his shopping list and enthusiasm for next year's hike. Laura loved her time with her Grandparents and Garfoot "cousins," as well as seeing and spending time with the folks in the community we love so much!

We went to Marshall Lake a few weeks ago to meet Jessica's boyfriend's family, who were vacationing up there. It was great to get out of the house and visit a spot we haven't seen in a decade. The parents enjoyed visiting while the kids hung out at the lake. Later we fished off the dock and the family photo was taken there. Kalib has been a wonderful "breeze" of "normalcy" in our lives.

The smell of Fall is in the air, and school begins this week. We've enjoyed having the kids around, but the routine will be good for them. They are ready to get started and will be grateful to reconnect with teachers and friends. Nathan started cross country two weeks ago and enjoys the team and coaches. THANK YOU to the faculty and staff of both Mead High School and Farwell Elementary for the Memory Making Basket! We are so thankful for your love and support! And we did indeed make memories this summer!!

Just a reminder: School is a place for the kids to "get away" from cancer. Please be sensitive to this and do not ask them how they or their father is doing all the time. Thank you for your understanding.

The timing of school starting is good as John's decline seems to be picking up pace. His energy level and lung capacity continues to decrease. Thankfully, he is not in a lot of pain! The liver and the stomach area (full of tumors) are becoming problematic. He is using his oxygen most of the time. We moved his concentrator to a central location in the house so he can travel throughout with ease. The kids love it as it makes him easy to find! He does take short, level walks (with oxygen). You can find him doing his "laps" around the pool deck. John is feeling too weak to drive anymore. We are not getting out much----sticking close to home these days.

We are no longer living day to day, rather moment by moment.... And the moments are good as John is still with us! And God has been faithful, continuing to fill our hearts and home with His peace!

John's work replacement has been hired! He started Monday, August 8th. John went into the office on Wednesday to go over some of the current projects with him. We are grateful that John is here and able to help with the transition!

Our two youngest are getting their "Stehekin fix": Nathan began his six day hike on August 10th. He will be exploring the high country in the North Cascades. Laura left the next day for Stehekin with Jim and Roberta. Jessica recovered well from her wisdom teeth extraction in early August and is staying home to get some hours in at the theater and work nannying for a family. We are looking forward to having some one-on-one time with our Jess---that will help us from missing the other two!

Friends from Albuquerque, NM flew up to spend time with us on Saturday. Such a blessing to see them!

John is "contently tired" (not much motivation) and we are now on top of his edema. The Lord is holding Bernice's heart together.

The Ellis Family Adventure

Thank you for visiting the Ellis Family Adventure Blog. It is your love and prayer support that is getting us through this current Adventure.

We also want to thank you for allowing us to continue to live our lives as normal as possible during this time. We know we have an “army” of family and friends who are ready and willing to help at any given moment’s notice. For this too, we are so very grateful! We have currently reached the point in our journey where there is a need to communicate on a broader level to those we love. It is important that you do not expect updates on any kind of regular basis. Please know and trust that you will be updated as necessary. Thank you for understanding.

So how did we get here? Allow me to share an overview of our Adventure. It was four years ago, July 31, 2007, that we found out the name of the unwelcome guest in our home: Leiomyosarcoma. It was an X-ray the first of June 2007, that found a tumor on John’s spine (T8 & T9), wedged between his heart & left lung. A sarcoma caused by the radiation he had received 29 years earlier from his treatment for Hodgkin’s.

That fall season brought 3 rounds of in-patient chemo at “Hotel Holy Family”. He finished up in time so we could enjoy the Holidays. Next John underwent a 9 hour surgery at the end of January 2008 to remove the tumor, ½ to ¾ of his T8 & T9, and 20% of two ribs. They added two titanium rods. His recovery from surgery was followed by 25 rounds of radiation (John referred to as his “tanning bed sessions”).

The cancer had been completely eradicated from John’s spine! And for 10 months, we were “cancer free.” As we were Praising the Lord for his healing and trying to get our life back to some form of “normal” with three kids and a home, the doctors were watching some “nodes” in John’s lungs.

In April 2009 we found out that the cancer had metastasized to his lungs. After consulting with several doctors we were told that there was nothing medically that could be done. A PET scan in August 2010 revealed that the cancer had also metastasized to muscle groups, bone marrow, and the liver. We were instructed to contact Hospice.

That first meeting with Hospice on our pool deck (or “date” as Bernice calls it as anytime we’re together) was surreal - full of information and laughter! The Hospice nurse said that had she not seen the PET scan, she wouldn’t know why she was here. As she reviewed medical insurance and the Hospice ministry with us - we laughed at the weekly visits! John was still traveling for work as well as we had a “date” scheduled for Alaska and a Stehekin Pack Trip in September! You’d have to catch him first! This leads us to where we are today. We did have to initiate Hospice Care on March 28, 2011. The oxygen producing equipment was a huge blessing! We have our nurse who visits once a week. It’s only in the past two months that John has slowed working; and the month of July we feel “Pseudo Retired”! God has blessed us with this experience of what it would have been like to have retired together! John has also been pain free until a month ago. His weight loss has become evident the past couple months - as Jess puts it, "he’s disintegrating!” (a line from a Looney Tune cartoon that we enjoy as a family). In John’s words, “it’s a race between the lungs and the liver as to which will go first.”

Many ask about the children: God has been faithful to draw them closer to Himself during this time. Jessica is on the eve of her senior year at Mead High School and Nathan will begin his sophomore year. Laura Grace starts 4th grade. Both teenagers have been working much this summer: Jess at the Village Center Cinema’s and Nathan has been doing yard work for neighbors and friends. They appreciate your sensitivity as you continue to respect their privacy. Thank you for being sensitive to the children by not asking them how their father is doing.

There is a peace that passes ALL understanding in our home. There is much joy and laughter to balance out the tears. Although all 4 of us would love to “grab John’s hand and run out of this Valley”…. We are keeping our eyes on the Lord and trusting Him! He encourages us much along the way with the love and support we have been given through our family and friends!

Throughout this Adventure, I have often told John that he didn’t have to go to this extent so people would know why I married him! He has been faithful to his initial “battle cry” to his family: “This life is about only one thing: that we bring Glory to God in all we say & do” - and John has done just that. His attitude has remained undaunted. He is an inspiration to many.

Our time for needing assistance is quickly approaching. Our friend Julie Thackston has offered to coordinate those efforts. Some areas we might need help are: meals; yard care; house cleaning; and should school be in session, areas relating to the kids’ needs. If you are inclined to help, contact Julie at ellisfamilyadventure@gmail.com and let her know how you are able /willing to assist. She will then contact you when the need arises.

God has been very good to us! John and I have had a 20 year marriage that has been the nearest thing to heaven on earth! And walking together down this Valley has only drawn us closer together. God manifested our love in 3 beautiful children! There is joy and love of the most powerful kind in our home! We continue to Praise Him for all He has shown us and done for us! And to you, Dear Family and Friends, we are very thankful!